People are bound to say crap about you… that is the nature of people and also the nature of leadership.
You need to figure out when to let the crap stick or when to wipe it off.
Identify the 2-5 leadership voices that count the most to you and your development. Let them speak into difficult problems, even if you don’t always agree with what you hear. Be willing to give them a full account of your hardest scenarios. Likewise give them full access to the scenarios if needed or when you can. Count on these people to ask you hard questions and challenge your growth. Listen to them and let their guidance shape your life.
Honor, or at least respect, people who have an issue and come to you in person and are willing to speak frankly. Those rare, but open discourses can typically result in good to fair resolutions if you are willing to listen and be open to growing. Learn to slough off and ignore the rest.
As for the people who have the crap to say….
Ignore spineless, behind-your-back conversations. Don’t worry about half-told truths. Delete the all-too-easily volleyed emails, text messages and twitter updates. (You know that person wouldn’t say directly to you what they have written with their new found technology enhanced courage.) Your leadership and your character will always prove itself out in the end.
Life is far too easily consumed with dissections of emotionally charged situations, frustrations, disappointments and disagreements. Do your best as you make your leadership calls. Trust your experience. Admit and learn from your short comings. Keep moving on.