Tag Archives: teaching

Teach that Kid

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Can a kid be RESPONSIBLE at 6 years old? Just the fleeting vision or foggy nightmare of one of my sons slumming on a couch, jobless, eating potato chips while scratching themselves and playing video games into their late 20′s is enough to push me past all of my paranoia’s about making them grow up too fast. Currently, I am trying to teach the concept of responsibility to my 6 year old. Writing that makes me sound and sort of feel like an ogre. However, I strive for my sons to be a benefit to society and a rock to their families as “men”.

The tricky question though is, “HOW do you teach responsibility to a 6 yr. old?” Is it the ‘more is caught than taught’ theory? Is it what I show them with my life or is it what I teach him through assignments? Should I assign easy to complete tasks? How much should I remind him of his new duties? Can ‘struggle’ be an effective teacher? Or should I go with a reward system? What happens when he “forgets”? Should there be consequences for that? He will of course certainly forget… he is 6 after all. And we all forget something every once in a while, but if it is truly responsibility that I am seeking then it is his responsibility to remember.

Here is an even trickier question, “HOW do you teach responsibility to a 20-something?” Some argue that if they don’t get it by now than it is too late. Can you coach responsibility? Challenge it? Manipulate a system to produce it? Does it come from within? Will you know quickly when someone does not possess it? Will responsibility magically manifest itself in an individual over time?

Responsibility is a state of mind, a core value, a life principle. For some it seems to come in degrees or shows up only in certain areas. Some people do not seem to equally apply responsibility in all areas of their lives. This much I do know, when you have someone who understands and lives responsibility in full measure, do your best to keep them on your team and in your company.

Teach in failure

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Young leaders need feedback. They won’t make all of the right moves and they won’t have all of the experience that you wish they would have to inform their decision making in tough situations. They also don’t have the requisite vision to see what is coming next. That is what makes them young leaders. When (not if) they fail, you can ignore the problem, which ultimately leads to no growth due to your lack of involvement. Or, you can address the failure. It is in these moments where you can lead them towards success by coming alongside them as a coach, giving insights and guidance that will equip them for their next opportunities. I believe that this beats out the alternative, which is chewing them out like a military drill sergeant. So, here are some suggestions:

  • tackle the performance issue while it is still fresh, don’t put it off till later (coach in the moment)
  • invite the young leader into the solution process
  • don’t skirt the issues with subtleties, be direct
  • give tangible examples of how performance can be improved
  • don’t over react… the world isn’t coming to an end because they made a mistake, so put them back in the game right away
  • give encouragement about the future whenever possible

Persistent Leader

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We moved into a new community this summer. Through the course of identifying schools, my wife and oldest son came across a descriptive article about a ‘robot club’ at one particular school. Because my son has had a fascination with building things from a very young age this particular item immediately locked into his mind and his childhood fantastical possibilities. Ever since that mid-summer’s day, he has been persistently requesting me and my wife to join the club.

School was out of session and there was nobody to contact. To make matters more challenging, we didn’t enroll him in that school, they were full. He asked me to email them. So I did. At first he asked me every day if they had emailed back. I had to curtail that after day 7. Then he checked weekly, although I think he dreamt of robot club every day and night. School started. No word. I said, “give them one week”. Sure enough, he asked about it after school on the Friday of the first week. Unfortunately for him, I got an email that day stating the club was closed because they had no more room. Like him, I don’t easily take ‘no’ for a viable answer after just one effort. This Monday when he got home from school he and I charted a course to talk with someone in person. How can one say ‘no’ to a passionate and friendly young kid? We found the lead secretary for the school, Stacey. She was pleasant and willing to offer insights. We were personable and, although she didn’t know it, persistent. Stacey informed us that the reason the club was full was a lack of volunteers and supplies. My son quickly shot me the ‘dad, you will get involved’ look. We left a note for the lead volunteer. On the way to the car I had my first and perfect leadership development moment with my oldest son. I told him that personable and persistent people usually find ways to accomplish the things they really want to do. I asked him to remain hopeful and things would eventually work out.

Last night, the robot club lead volunteer called me. I missed his call at 8:30 p.m. but I called him back at 9:30 p.m. He called me back at 10 p.m. We figured out the hurdles together. Apparently Eric really likes robots and is excited to have a kid in the club that is so eager. 

Leadership requires a persistence. Persistence is leadership —- the words have to be synonyms. I am thrilled my son is learning this valuable lesson AND that this time it has been rewarded.