Tag Archives: ryan russell

fat pastors

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Let me lead with — I have been both fat and a pastor. Unfortunately, no one really ever thought to tell me I was fat, although a few buddies teased me.

Stolen stat: 73% of pastors are overweight with 50% more than 30 lbs overweight.

At one point I was 230lbs. Today I am 190 on my way to 185 after 1 long year of hard work, exercise and eating real sized portions. Hold me accountable if I ever top 200lbs again.

Did a quick internet search… 2 top results; this one is worth the read, the other is apparently doing something about it.

Here is why I think most (not all) pastors get fat. You choose the priority order. My hope is that we would all strive to lead healthy lives in every area.

Pastors get fat because:

  • Typically they work over 50 hours a week and leave no time or energy for being physically healthy.
  • Pastors value meetings; either with people from their churches or with their staff for ‘ministry projects’… this leads to a LOT of sitting. (Pointer based on experience – learn to talk while you walk)
  • Most churches have expense accounts for meetings which get used for meals. Not bad in themselves, but when combined with sitting and given that most pastors are underpaid, free meals become VERY attractive. (Pointer – order from the lunch or appetizer menu; share meals when out with your spouse)
  • Physical health, exercise and ‘play’ is not seen as a spiritual value.  (1 Cor. 6:19-20)
  • The United States church culture is more likely to address porn as an issue than it is obesity, however, pastors struggle with both.

Do your dots connect?

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Kids play a simple game on paper – connect the dots. The dots are numbered and when you run a line in order from one to the next they make a picture. Vision & mission statements, while always ‘en vogue’ with leader types, can quickly become meaningless in the day to day operation of a place. Your mission statement MUST constantly help your team ‘connect the dots’. More importantly, YOU serve as the vision caster (what will the final picture look like) but also as the blue printer (where do we place the numbers).

If you are leading well, your team members know exactly what it looks like to succeed. They know by definition the picture that they are creating and where to go next. So, how much stuff is your team busy with that doesn’t connect with your mission? Same challenge from a different angle – are you emphatically sure that you are hyper focused on executing a game plan that is certain to lead your team in accomplishing the most important work? Are you communicating effectively and passionately about your vision and plans? Did you do it last year, but forget to keep the vision out in front of them this week?

Your team needs you to lead well. Your team needs you to communicate with clarity, with hope and with encouragement. AND your team needs a plan that will allow them the opportunity to not only succeed, but to WIN!

Chasing Approval

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Why do you want to become a better leader? What is it that motivates you?

Avoid the the temptation to work hard to impress your boss, your mentor, your family, or ‘your people’.

Develop your leadership for you… because you expect more and better from yourself. Develop it for a cause. Save lives. Help people. Grow something good. Have purpose.

‘Approval’ is fickle and moody, and it is never quite as much in your grasp as you want it to be.

Every developing leader has someone they would really like to please and succeed for. Unfortunately, it will be a hard day when you come to realize that you should have been seeking a more lasting seal of approval.

now leadership

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Hurry up and graduate form high school so that you can get to college. Once in college, focus on your studies and have some fun but get moving on to that career. When you are finally ‘out there’ be sure to keep pressing on, chart your career goals and moves, keep climbing up. Vie for leadership and ‘more’ constantly. Watch out for yourself. Don’t be content. Constantly seek the allusive ‘more’.

Or, take a deep    {breath}     and ………….. p-a-u-s-e ……………..

For many of us, we are in a really good situation right now. Perhaps, much better than the situation gets credit for being. You have income (although you can imagine having more to be certain) and you have relationships, colleagues to know and embrace as you work together on ‘changing the world’. Chances are very good that if you take a look around, you also have leadership challenges and growth staring right back at you. Enjoy the NOW. Soak it up. Maximize it. Squeeze the life out of it. Notice it.

Without trying to be overly zen, your life and leadership moments will pass you by quick enough. Enjoy them in the now, not in the future.

Prompt Rejection

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“Prompt rejection is cost effective.”

This is a great proverb I received yesterday while taking some cues & pointers from an experienced fundraiser. It transcends that specific topic though. It carries over into relationships, business deals, and even parenting. It saves people on both sides of the equation. If the answer is going to invariably be ‘NO’ then let’s go ahead and get to that conclusion. Save time, hope,  money, energy, emails, phone calls and heartache.

Persistent Leader

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We moved into a new community this summer. Through the course of identifying schools, my wife and oldest son came across a descriptive article about a ‘robot club’ at one particular school. Because my son has had a fascination with building things from a very young age this particular item immediately locked into his mind and his childhood fantastical possibilities. Ever since that mid-summer’s day, he has been persistently requesting me and my wife to join the club.

School was out of session and there was nobody to contact. To make matters more challenging, we didn’t enroll him in that school, they were full. He asked me to email them. So I did. At first he asked me every day if they had emailed back. I had to curtail that after day 7. Then he checked weekly, although I think he dreamt of robot club every day and night. School started. No word. I said, “give them one week”. Sure enough, he asked about it after school on the Friday of the first week. Unfortunately for him, I got an email that day stating the club was closed because they had no more room. Like him, I don’t easily take ‘no’ for a viable answer after just one effort. This Monday when he got home from school he and I charted a course to talk with someone in person. How can one say ‘no’ to a passionate and friendly young kid? We found the lead secretary for the school, Stacey. She was pleasant and willing to offer insights. We were personable and, although she didn’t know it, persistent. Stacey informed us that the reason the club was full was a lack of volunteers and supplies. My son quickly shot me the ‘dad, you will get involved’ look. We left a note for the lead volunteer. On the way to the car I had my first and perfect leadership development moment with my oldest son. I told him that personable and persistent people usually find ways to accomplish the things they really want to do. I asked him to remain hopeful and things would eventually work out.

Last night, the robot club lead volunteer called me. I missed his call at 8:30 p.m. but I called him back at 9:30 p.m. He called me back at 10 p.m. We figured out the hurdles together. Apparently Eric really likes robots and is excited to have a kid in the club that is so eager. 

Leadership requires a persistence. Persistence is leadership —- the words have to be synonyms. I am thrilled my son is learning this valuable lesson AND that this time it has been rewarded.

new accountability

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Moving to a new area and establishing new relationships has forced me to renew & re-think accountability. In Mesa I had steadily insulated myself with many levels of accountable relationships. I had professional accountable and challenging mentors. I had spiritually accountable relationships. I had friends who would hold me accountable to leading better within my family. Last year I had finally establish accountable workout partners. I don’t think there wasn’t aspect of my life where more than one person was holding me accountable consistently. Being in a new arena it has become very apparent that I have to work to establish accountability all over again. Just saying this I am sure causes some to think “what is wrong”. Nothing is ‘wrong’. BUT if you really want to grow, you shouldn’t wait for something to go wrong to then get accountable. However, that is what most people do. They get called to account AFTER they have made some fatal errors in the life and in their judgement. I HIGHLY recommend you get accountable BEFORE something goes wrong so that you can avoid the painful experiences of major life failure. Tomorrow begins a new circle of accountability — Every Thursday morning @ 5:30 a.m. I am meeting with 6 other leaders from across the nation. In addition to that I am developing face to face relationships here in Seattle. What are you doing in your life to be accountable?

Sarcastic Confusion

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“I’m only joking.”

“Just Kidding”

“I wasn’t serious.”

Really? How would I tell… You deadpan sarcasm so much that I can’t figure out which of your statements are serious and which of them are actually playful humor.

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If the previous section strikes a cord with you, it is time to rethink your communication style. Better yet, read this to someone who works closely with you AND who will tell you the truth. If they say it ‘might describe you on occasion’ (which is their polite & honest way of saying YES) then you do have a communication problem. Sarcasm is an easy, painful and lazy communication pattern. Leaders communicate straight on about issues. Leaders hold back unnecessary comments. Leaders measure their words knowing that they have impact. 

  • Never communicate truth through sarcasm – go head first into the issues OR don’t worry about it.
  • If sarcasm becomes more than 25% of your ‘style’ with any individual, you don’t really have a relationship with them.
  • Observe other really sarcastic people and reflect deeply on your opinion of them AND other leaders’ opinion of them.

option 1: coaching

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It would have been very easy to be upset. After all, we had just paid too much for those poolside margaritas to come back as weak flavored water experiments. Our hope was some very cold and refreshing adult beverages to enjoy with our plunge into the pool on that hot day. In this early summer moment of frustration and disappointment I was witness to a very fine leadership skill put on display. Instead of fury, harsh rebuke or silent contempt, my uncle proceeded to invest a valuable fifteen minutes of his afternoon in coaching the young lad who was behind the bar. He wasn’t aggressive but personable. He wasn’t arrogant but rather experienced. He wasn’t hurried but instead showed genuine interest in the young person. The net result equalled a better blend of ice cold pool side liquid goodness AND an invaluable leadership lesson.    

Correction does NOT only come through conflict. I see it time and again with leaders developing young leaders. Course correction comes: 
1. after many mistakes have been made & ignored 
2. with an aggressive, adversarial or conflict oriented style
Consider a few corrections in your development of the people around you.
* See the person you are developing as someone who wants to learn & grow; assume the best about them.
* Don’t wait for mistakes or missteps to build up; address the situation or actions as soon as possible and as often as necessary.
* Use a coaching approach; think about your language, tone, posture, facial expression.

It really isn’t that hard to help someone else increase their performance when you see their shortcomings as coaching opportunities where, without arrogance, ego or attitude you approach it as an opportunity to develop them for success.