Tag Archives: gossip

Wipe It Off

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People are bound to say crap about you… that is the nature of people and also the nature of leadership.
You need to figure out when to let the crap stick or when to wipe it off.

Identify the 2-5 leadership voices that count the most to you and your development. Let them speak into difficult problems, even if you don’t always agree with what you hear. Be willing to give them a full account of your hardest scenarios. Likewise give them full access to the scenarios if needed or when you can. Count on these people to ask you hard questions and challenge your growth. Listen to them and let their guidance shape your life.

Honor, or at least respect, people who have an issue and come to you in person and are willing to speak frankly. Those rare, but open discourses can typically result in good to fair resolutions if you are willing to listen and be open to growing. Learn to slough off and ignore the rest.

As for the people who have the crap to say….
Ignore spineless, behind-your-back conversations. Don’t worry about half-told truths. Delete the all-too-easily volleyed emails, text messages and twitter updates. (You know that person wouldn’t say directly to you what they have written with their new found technology enhanced courage.) Your leadership and your character will always prove itself out in the end.

Life is far too easily consumed with dissections of emotionally charged situations, frustrations, disappointments and disagreements. Do your best as you make your leadership calls. Trust your experience. Admit and learn from your short comings. Keep moving on.

The Water Cooler Challenge

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When the water cooler gathering occur much of the talk has personal agendas, unproductive results, and leaves wide open doors for misunderstandings and hurt feelings.  Welcome back to Junior High, except this time having a big mouth could cost you a lot more, possibly your job.

Reason why you can’t shut up and what to do about it:

- You’re Offended: Talk only to the person that hurt you and move on, seriously no one else needs to be informed.

- You lack Confidence and struggle with Your Identity: You’ll never be a leader if this is the case.  Approach close friends/family, ask their thoughts, and be prepared for some hard answers. Personal reflection to follow.

- You have Control Issues:  This will come off desperate and have the opposite effect you wanted. Learn to not care about what others think of you as much.

- You lack Listening Skills: When people talk to much it can be because they don’t think the other person is hearing them, listen to their response to you.

- You’re Bored: You’re at work not a talk show; do your work.  It is disrespectful and inappropriate to waste company time on personal things.

- You’re Inarticulate: Thinking before you speak is key to sharing a thought, opinion, and/or feeling.  Take time and say it right the first time.

Water Cooler Women

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If there could be a sign over every water cooler or for that matter every “lunch meeting” that says “Shut Up No One Cares”  I think we would get a lot more done.  Sounds rude even hurtful but if you give me a chance I think I’m making a more than valuable point.

Talking, what a gift women have!  According to many studies women on average speak three times more words a day than men and we all know those words, more often than not, are full of punch!  As a woman, I understand and often find myself joining the water cooler crowd for the latest.  It’s like this crazy magnetic force that screams at me that my opinion, my feelings, my thoughts are so important and valuable that everyone needs to hear them and not just once, but multiply times.  This God given gift of communication to the females is at its core a beautiful thing, but when used in excess turns ugly fast.

In the spirit of leadership in the work place choosing words carefully is one of the best things you can do.  Imagine a woman in the work place that speaks when necessary and gets to the point, and whenever she deviates it’s purposeful, clear, and possibly even witty!  This woman would stand out not just from the women but the men as well and become the leading lady in the office.  People respect and think highly of others that have a guard on their tongue.    We tend to subconsciously label people that speak well and with thoughtfulness as wise and deep, all wonderful leadership traits.  People will follow, respect, and even have a healthy fear of a leader that demonstrates these attributes on consistent biases.