Tag Archives: coaching

Teach in failure

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Young leaders need feedback. They won’t make all of the right moves and they won’t have all of the experience that you wish they would have to inform their decision making in tough situations. They also don’t have the requisite vision to see what is coming next. That is what makes them young leaders. When (not if) they fail, you can ignore the problem, which ultimately leads to no growth due to your lack of involvement. Or, you can address the failure. It is in these moments where you can lead them towards success by coming alongside them as a coach, giving insights and guidance that will equip them for their next opportunities. I believe that this beats out the alternative, which is chewing them out like a military drill sergeant. So, here are some suggestions:

  • tackle the performance issue while it is still fresh, don’t put it off till later (coach in the moment)
  • invite the young leader into the solution process
  • don’t skirt the issues with subtleties, be direct
  • give tangible examples of how performance can be improved
  • don’t over react… the world isn’t coming to an end because they made a mistake, so put them back in the game right away
  • give encouragement about the future whenever possible

Persistent Leader

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We moved into a new community this summer. Through the course of identifying schools, my wife and oldest son came across a descriptive article about a ‘robot club’ at one particular school. Because my son has had a fascination with building things from a very young age this particular item immediately locked into his mind and his childhood fantastical possibilities. Ever since that mid-summer’s day, he has been persistently requesting me and my wife to join the club.

School was out of session and there was nobody to contact. To make matters more challenging, we didn’t enroll him in that school, they were full. He asked me to email them. So I did. At first he asked me every day if they had emailed back. I had to curtail that after day 7. Then he checked weekly, although I think he dreamt of robot club every day and night. School started. No word. I said, “give them one week”. Sure enough, he asked about it after school on the Friday of the first week. Unfortunately for him, I got an email that day stating the club was closed because they had no more room. Like him, I don’t easily take ‘no’ for a viable answer after just one effort. This Monday when he got home from school he and I charted a course to talk with someone in person. How can one say ‘no’ to a passionate and friendly young kid? We found the lead secretary for the school, Stacey. She was pleasant and willing to offer insights. We were personable and, although she didn’t know it, persistent. Stacey informed us that the reason the club was full was a lack of volunteers and supplies. My son quickly shot me the ‘dad, you will get involved’ look. We left a note for the lead volunteer. On the way to the car I had my first and perfect leadership development moment with my oldest son. I told him that personable and persistent people usually find ways to accomplish the things they really want to do. I asked him to remain hopeful and things would eventually work out.

Last night, the robot club lead volunteer called me. I missed his call at 8:30 p.m. but I called him back at 9:30 p.m. He called me back at 10 p.m. We figured out the hurdles together. Apparently Eric really likes robots and is excited to have a kid in the club that is so eager. 

Leadership requires a persistence. Persistence is leadership —- the words have to be synonyms. I am thrilled my son is learning this valuable lesson AND that this time it has been rewarded.

Sarcastic Confusion

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“I’m only joking.”

“Just Kidding”

“I wasn’t serious.”

Really? How would I tell… You deadpan sarcasm so much that I can’t figure out which of your statements are serious and which of them are actually playful humor.

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If the previous section strikes a cord with you, it is time to rethink your communication style. Better yet, read this to someone who works closely with you AND who will tell you the truth. If they say it ‘might describe you on occasion’ (which is their polite & honest way of saying YES) then you do have a communication problem. Sarcasm is an easy, painful and lazy communication pattern. Leaders communicate straight on about issues. Leaders hold back unnecessary comments. Leaders measure their words knowing that they have impact. 

  • Never communicate truth through sarcasm – go head first into the issues OR don’t worry about it.
  • If sarcasm becomes more than 25% of your ‘style’ with any individual, you don’t really have a relationship with them.
  • Observe other really sarcastic people and reflect deeply on your opinion of them AND other leaders’ opinion of them.

option 1: coaching

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It would have been very easy to be upset. After all, we had just paid too much for those poolside margaritas to come back as weak flavored water experiments. Our hope was some very cold and refreshing adult beverages to enjoy with our plunge into the pool on that hot day. In this early summer moment of frustration and disappointment I was witness to a very fine leadership skill put on display. Instead of fury, harsh rebuke or silent contempt, my uncle proceeded to invest a valuable fifteen minutes of his afternoon in coaching the young lad who was behind the bar. He wasn’t aggressive but personable. He wasn’t arrogant but rather experienced. He wasn’t hurried but instead showed genuine interest in the young person. The net result equalled a better blend of ice cold pool side liquid goodness AND an invaluable leadership lesson.    

Correction does NOT only come through conflict. I see it time and again with leaders developing young leaders. Course correction comes: 
1. after many mistakes have been made & ignored 
2. with an aggressive, adversarial or conflict oriented style
Consider a few corrections in your development of the people around you.
* See the person you are developing as someone who wants to learn & grow; assume the best about them.
* Don’t wait for mistakes or missteps to build up; address the situation or actions as soon as possible and as often as necessary.
* Use a coaching approach; think about your language, tone, posture, facial expression.

It really isn’t that hard to help someone else increase their performance when you see their shortcomings as coaching opportunities where, without arrogance, ego or attitude you approach it as an opportunity to develop them for success.

5 parts leader

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Developing young new recruits inside your movement or organization requires a mixture of different leadership skills. Don’t fall down by relying only on your strengths or natural tendencies. Consider that there is more to leading your team than the things that are hard wired in you… 

  1. Inspirational Vision – No one is following beyond the minimum required for payday unless you convince them of the mission with your personal passion and devotion. More than a really good speech will be required.
  2. Clear direction mixed with some coaching - Some will get ‘IT’ without  any explanation while others need some ‘how-to’ instruction in specific areas.
  3. Pace & rhythm for ‘work’ life comes from you - For good or bad  everyone is looking to you but remember, not everyone is LIKE you. Some need more rest, while others need a swift kick in the butt to get going.
  4. Space to try, fail OR succeed and then try again - Don’t hover over and avoid your temptation to micro-manage BUT do remain connected enough give useful feedback once the new challenge has been completed.
  5. Accountability & Encouragement - This isn’t an ‘either/or’ proposition regardless of your strength in only one of the 2 areas. So, does your team know if they did a good job? AND, do the get critical evaluation that will bring out their best?

influences

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In leadership & in ministry, WHO you have influence you is a very key ingredient. It seems very wise & prudent to carefully select which voices you are going to allow to penetrate into your outlook, attitude, worldview, decision making and direction.

Over the last 8 months I have been refining which voices to have speak into my personal development, professional insights and ministry direction. I don’t have all of this work done yet, but I want to pass along two new voices that are making the cut.

the first is a pastor out in S.C. — for those of you in ministry you won’t find the revelatory — named Perry Noble. He pastors a church called NewSpring. Read his blog… it is worth the price of the subscription (FREE). The best take aways are spiritual leadership and then church leadership, in that order.

the second is a pastor in New York named Tim Keller. What he has been doing as a pastor of the local church is very good, but what he is contributing to the intellectual dialogue in the world on behalf of Christ and the gospel is outstanding. His lectures and sermons would be termed ‘boring’ by the average evangelical church attender on the west coast, but if you can hang with the deliver the content will leave you thinking for a very long time. Be sure to check out his lecture at Google.