Who lost the big picture?

I did. You have. We all do once in a while.

The BIG picture is when we cross the finish line, accomplish our goals, or follow through on our commitments. The BIG picture is about becoming our best and then sharing it with others and with the world. The BIG picture is living our lives with purpose.

Human nature is to zoom in, grab the microscope and to over analyze the details. Do that with any picture and you will certainly find flaws and imperfections to focus on. Zoom in on people and the results are also the same. No boss or employee is perfect, and neither is any spouse or friend.

So focus on an individual’s BIG picture.
What does the ‘zoomed-out’ view tell you about them?
And what does your personal BIG picture say about you to others?
What is our nature as leaders, do we zoom-in or zoom-out while evaluating those around us?

The Value of Grit

A highlight from a full day in NYC yesterday included hearing Dave Levin (co-founder KIPP schools) speak about the transformation of education and the need to develop character along with knowledge in our children. If you haven’t heard the story of of KIPP schools, take 5-10 minutes to be inspired and elevate your expectations of education.

KIPP schools teach 9 character traits. “Grit” is included in their fundamental belief structure, and surprisingly, it isn’t even buried last on the list like a complimentary throw in. The model that they teach from is inspiring and it’s truly refreshing to know that there are troops of educators willing to teach about hard work, perseverance, determination.

Kids must know how to ‘get up’ after life knocks them down. Because, quoting Dave’s simple observation,

“Life will knock you down’”.

So, do you have grit? Where is it demonstrated?

The Face of Intensity

The face of intensity and soon to be the winningness coach in NCAA men’s basketball history – Coach Mike Krzyzewski. As a coach, he is an expert at balancing critique with praise.

Boil down great coaching feedback into it’s rawest sound bites and you might mistakenly determine that the leader hates their athletes more than their enemies. It’s not true. The best coaches LOVE their athletes, want the best for them and are willing to say what is absolutely necessary for them to hear in order for them to get better.

I have three sons. As their father the hardest thing to show them is where they come up short. Sometimes I can coach them with cheer and good humor. But other times require intensity and critique. What keeps me from being an a evil monger who is tearing down his children?

Love and trust.

I love them and want the very best for them. Along the way, I ask them to trust me. I show them the goals of my instruction. I praise their best efforts and hard work. I revel in their achievements. But I very much want to help them to get better. In order for them to grow the must be challenged and they can’t always be coddled.

Avoid the temptation of our society to always be ‘nice’ and to never say a hard thing. Demonstrate to your team members that you care about them reaching their best potential by giving them the feedback that they need in order to get better.

Congrats to Coach K! — Enjoy more intense Coach-K pics. — Tune in to watch him go for the record tonight.

Someone Else is Responsible

Every employer, partner, spouse and friend wants to be connected with someone who will take responsibility. They are looking for an individual who approaches every situation with a spirit and attitude of ownership. We are all tired of people who won’t take control of their own lives, realities and projects. Here’s a new way to look at things:

You are at least 51% responsible for everything in your life.

This means you are more than a half owner in the results of your job, your projects, your marriage, your finances, your relationships… Every single leadership dynamic that exists. Take inventory. Where are you sloughing off on your share of ownership?

Leadership is ownership. Leadership is walking into every situation in your life and grabbing hold of it, expecting the outcome can be positive. Get started and own stuff!

Personalized Anti-fear Training

Leaders conquer fear… So why not personalize it for your own training purposes? My thought process: If you get used to taking on your personal fears then you will be better prepared to take on fears in your professional, leadership life as well.

I don’t know of many everyday fears, but the ones I have I want to conquer. Don’t ask me when… I will get to each of them in due course. As a normal course of life, I try to take 1 fear off my list each year. A current & complete list of my life’s remaining fears:

  • Surgery with anesthesia - Any kind of surgery will do, but particularly I am fearful of life threatening or serious surgeries. I am going to take on this one when it comes and I don’t plan on scheduling it.
  • Sky-diving - Seems easy enough but just last week I read an article about this retiree dying while out for a recreational ‘jump’.
  • Bungee jumping - Similar to sky-diving, but instead of a parachute it’s a rubber-band around the leg. Who thinks of these things?
  • Solo wilderness camping - This needs to be 2+ nights out in the wild, not camping in an RV at the local KOA, although I might use that as a ‘building-up-to-it’ type of training experience.
  • Self-reliant ocean sailing - The correct terminology I am not sure of; solo sailing I think. If a 16 year old can do this, then heck, why can’t I? I am thinking my late-40′s and the Caribbean island chain as part of my early planning.
  • Noodling - Nothing about the swamp, sticking my arm into submerged caves and letting a very large animal swallow a necessary appendage sounds like a rational sporting activity. And the ‘experts’ seem crazy and most likely suffer from in-breeding.
  • Scuba caving - Combining two fears I have already mostly conquered make for an all together natural ascension to eradicating them from my conscience.
  • Everest Summit - Like the sailing, this one will take time and tons of training not to mentioned a certain amount of ‘odds’ being on my side.
  • War / hand-to-hand combat for my life  - Not much needs to be said here. I will not seek this one out, but I resolve to not back away when the moment presents itself.

* Perhaps I haven’t thought of a few things that should be on this list but are not. Feel free to hit me with fears that I have not yet considered…

Richard Petty Race Experience – 160mph – the day after Dan Weldon died on the same track.

No Voice Left Or Leadership Either

Good-byes aren’t always easy in leadership. And sometimes even harder than the good-bye is the period of time that immediately follows. If you have been in a leadership role, guiding people, directing the strategic achievement of goals, investing yourself, what follows after good-bye is a mixture of looking ahead, but also a bit of looking back. Ahead is exciting, but looking back is tough. It’s tough because you have poured yourself into other people and you genuinely want them to continue to succeed even though you are no longer day-in and day-out in the trenches with them. Even tougher is that someone else will now fill your roll and invariably they will NOT make the same decisions that you would make if you were still there.

Being magnanimous to all parties involved, the new leader will make some good decisions that you would not have. However, the new leader will also invariably make some ego-based, stupid decisions that hurt the people and the organization that you used to lead. It’s unavoidable. Completely unavoidable. And this blog is not about them, it’s about you. What will do when that happens? How will you respond? What comments, emails or phone calls will you be tempted to make that you should not?

Blunt reality: You left. And when you left you abdicated your leadership role. At that moment you gave up all right to have a voice into that organization’s decision making processes. And if you think about it with a clear head, there are some very specific and good reasons that you moved forward, even if you maintain a great relationship with your former employer. So, you need to decide how to continue to be a good leader who finds themselves in a shitty situation that you have no control over. How can you communicate care for and interest in the people who you used to lead? How will you own the fact that because you left, some of the difficult things that the organization is now currently grappling with are because of your absence? How will you convey genuine empathy for a former employee who loses their job but who you would never have fired? These are very tough, personal questions with no easy answers.

This is the challenge: How can you continue to be an excellent and praiseworthy leader who doesn’t pander to pettiness, who doesn’t get caught up in political drama and who leads people well through hard times wether you get paid for it or not?

I am looking forward the this book about “Necessary Endings” by Henry Cloudjust praying that UPS doesn’t lose it. They haven’t quite won back my confidence.

Strong opinions, Disagreements, Unity, Partnerships and Working Together.

No one agrees with me 100% of the time. Ask my wife, my children, my mom, my sisters, my employers, my best of friends, my co-workers and my most loyal advocates. No one agrees with you 100% of the time either.

One of the best theological questions I have encountered goes something like, “what are the core agreements we must have for fellowship”. Here’s my translation for leadership. “What are the core minimums that we must agree on in order to work in partnership together?” 

Successful leaders stick to their core moral beliefs and character essentials while also working with the broadest possible range of individuals to achieve common goals for good, profit and a better world. Too often we focus on what makes us opponents and not often enough do we focus on what could make us powerful and unstoppable allies.

Stay convicted, but also stay focused on your goals. This is a well written, fascinating article on politics and religion that highlights this premise.

The Company Kool-Aid

All My Friends Are Drinking The Company Kool-Aid… And I’m having some too.

Multiple choice: Your boss is pouring out ‘Kool-Aid’ as you walk into work each day, how much should you drink?
A) Don’t Drink Any
B) Drink It All
C) Drink Just Enough

The ‘Kool-Aid’ drink is, of course, the message & beliefs being served to each of us by the leaders we willingly choose to pour.

A) If you don’t drink any of the company cool-aid and you don’t buy into what your leader and your organization are all about, then do yourself and them a favor… QUIT RIGHT NOW!

B) And, if you drink in everything, meshing your thoughts, your beliefs and your actions so closely as to be in-extricateable, surely your will die. You will of course kill others in the process, you will lose your sense of self and you will stop being leader. Loyalty is not the same as having your critical mind switched off, blindly traipsing down a path towards a place where there is no sense of self, of voice and no tangible ability to make practical positive impacts on your pursuits.

C) If you are going to be an effective leader, YOU HAVE TO DRINK SOME OF THE KOOL-AID. You have to drink in the goals, the purpose, the objectives and the stated direction of the culture your leader and team are trying to create. You have to drink in enough to be passionate about your work and motivated each day to give your best and produce excellence. You have to drink enough of the Kool-Aid to be inspired. But please, be wise. Be self-aware, knowing that too much cool-aide will produce zombie-like effects. It will turn off your ability to think rationally for yourself. Leadership Kool-Aid in high quantities can rob you of your zest, time with your family, your health and your personal dignity. Stay sharp! Be confident. Give your best to the goals of your organization and those you have chosen to follow. Challenge the leaders around you with your alert mind, new thoughts, entrepreneurial efforts.

Do something amazing! And do it authentically.

Kill Exploration Early

Have you taken all of the danger & risk out of your work place that comes with exploration? Are you afraid that someone might get hurt? Do you fear for your board of directors, your reputation, your peace of mind, your ability to control everything, or a budget line item when you think about allowing new leaders the opportunities to invent and try? Do you value these things more than you value exploring new territory, inventing and playing with new ideas or reaching a new audience?

HERE is a truly fascinating article about kids and too much safety on the playground. Has the workplace become just as risk averse for young leaders the same way that we shield our kids from real world dangers on the playground and thus destroy their thirst for risk, adventure, excitement and exploration?

A sure fire way to kill the energy that new leader brings to your environment is to say “no” or “that won’t work” as often as possible when they introduce new ideas in their first 90 days on the job.