Good-byes aren’t always easy in leadership. And sometimes even harder than the good-bye is the period of time that immediately follows. If you have been in a leadership role, guiding people, directing the strategic achievement of goals, investing yourself, what follows after good-bye is a mixture of looking ahead, but also a bit of looking back. Ahead is exciting, but looking back is tough. It’s tough because you have poured yourself into other people and you genuinely want them to continue to succeed even though you are no longer day-in and day-out in the trenches with them. Even tougher is that someone else will now fill your roll and invariably they will NOT make the same decisions that you would make if you were still there.

Being magnanimous to all parties involved, the new leader will make some good decisions that you would not have. However, the new leader will also invariably make some ego-based, stupid decisions that hurt the people and the organization that you used to lead. It’s unavoidable. Completely unavoidable. And this blog is not about them, it’s about you. What will do when that happens? How will you respond? What comments, emails or phone calls will you be tempted to make that you should not?

Blunt reality: You left. And when you left you abdicated your leadership role. At that moment you gave up all right to have a voice into that organization’s decision making processes. And if you think about it with a clear head, there are some very specific and good reasons that you moved forward, even if you maintain a great relationship with your former employer. So, you need to decide how to continue to be a good leader who finds themselves in a shitty situation that you have no control over. How can you communicate care for and interest in the people who you used to lead? How will you own the fact that because you left, some of the difficult things that the organization is now currently grappling with are because of your absence? How will you convey genuine empathy for a former employee who loses their job but who you would never have fired? These are very tough, personal questions with no easy answers.

This is the challenge: How can you continue to be an excellent and praiseworthy leader who doesn’t pander to pettiness, who doesn’t get caught up in political drama and who leads people well through hard times wether you get paid for it or not?

I am looking forward the this book about “Necessary Endings” by Henry Cloud… just praying that UPS doesn’t lose it. They haven’t quite won back my confidence.

No one agrees with me 100% of the time. Ask my wife, my children, my mom, my sisters, my employers, my best of friends, my co-workers and my most loyal advocates. No one agrees with you 100% of the time either.

One of the best theological questions I have encountered goes something like, “what are the core agreements we must have for fellowship”. Here’s my translation for leadership. “What are the core minimums that we must agree on in order to work in partnership together?” 

Successful leaders stick to their core moral beliefs and character essentials while also working with the broadest possible range of individuals to achieve common goals for good, profit and a better world. Too often we focus on what makes us opponents and not often enough do we focus on what could make us powerful and unstoppable allies.

Stay convicted, but also stay focused on your goals. This is a well written, fascinating article on politics and religion that highlights this premise.

Enjoy the moment, nothing lasts forever. “Eight great years” – listen here. Colin Cowherd, ESPN sports radio commentator on Terry Franco, the Boston Red Sox, having perspective and soaking up the best of your life and work. This is certainly worth the 5 minutes of listening. I am looking forward to Colin’s purported leadership book.

Have you taken all of the danger & risk out of your work place that comes with exploration? Are you afraid that someone might get hurt? Do you fear for your board of directors, your reputation, your peace of mind, your ability to control everything, or a budget line item when you think about allowing new leaders the opportunities to invent and try? Do you value these things more than you value exploring new territory, inventing and playing with new ideas or reaching a new audience?

HERE is a truly fascinating article about kids and too much safety on the playground. Has the workplace become just as risk averse for young leaders the same way that we shield our kids from real world dangers on the playground and thus destroy their thirst for risk, adventure, excitement and exploration?

A sure fire way to kill the energy that new leader brings to your environment is to say “no” or “that won’t work” as often as possible when they introduce new ideas in their first 90 days on the job.

How do you develop leaders?

Once you believe that a developing young leader has acquired the necessary smarts and experiences for an important leadership post then you must give them:

1. Space to make important decisions.

2. Allowance for significant failure.

If you think you have a leader in your midst but you won’t give them access to these two resources, then you are only cultivating well trained managers. Additionally, real leaders won’t stay in your environment long if they can’t decide, fail, learn, grow and ultimately succeed.

Dave Ramsey gets to this point (eventually) in episode 3 of his new podcast.