In search of self improvement or a desire to move forward professionally, young people land on the idea that they need a mentor. However, wanting a mentor or teacher is a whole lot easier than the process of being mentored. Here are a few quick things to consider on the subject:
[part 3]
Practice the advice that they give – Now, here is the rub. – Nothing up to this point matters if you don’t TRY THE PRACTICAL ADVICE that this person gives you. You might as well go talk to a therapist if you just need someone to talk to and are interested in hearing back some reflections. In fact, I will go so far as to say that you don’t need to meet a second time until you have practiced and tried some of the practical advice from your first meeting with them. Here is a test of whether you have found a good mentor = they will give you some pratical things that you can implement into your life. Nice people are great, but far too many people operate in the land of ideas. You want someone who will practically help shape your life in the most important areas. When you find this person and the challenge you to do something, for goodness sake and the sake of their sanity, DO IT!
Invite feedback - You can practice this without mentors + this is a sure fire way to get what you really need to hear. Don’t just simple ask, “how am I doing?” but ask more detailed questions about specific performance related areas of your life. Let trusted people know that you want to grow, how your trying to grow, that their critique is welcome, and then don’t get defensive when it comes. For your mentor, invite them to ask follow up questions about the advice that they have given you (hopefully you have earnestly put it into action). Ask them follow up questions that get you more specific data on the areas where you know you need to grow. But, DON’T, DON’T, DON’T get defensive! You don’t need to win a mentor over because they are already on your side. So, when the feedback comes, listen, take notes, and then go at it again.
Pay for lunch, but nothing else - Professional coaches are helpful, but they’re also motivated by the money that you are sending their way. You know you have found your mentor (we will look at “qualities of a mentor” at some other time) when they are motivated by helping you grow – period. However, practice the old axiom, who ever has the agenda for the meeting ought to be the one buying the breakfast, coffee or lunch – so in this case, that means YOU!