Author Archives: Jessica

About Jessica

Jessica is a Seattle native living in Las Vegas working for Fireproof Ministries as the Director of Strip Church. Leading is an honor that Jessica take seriously and desires greatly to leave a positive impact on those she works with. She will be providing insights on women in leadership roles.

Taking Responsibility

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Having grown up with three brothers, it’s painfully obvious to me that guys are just as emotional, irrational…you name it as girls, they just might express it differently.  As women, double duty is required of us especially in the workplace when overcoming stereotypes.  We have to know who we are, who we work with well and how to respond appropriately as needed to each individual we come into conflict with.

Ways to Deal with Stereotypes and the Conflicts that Occurs from Them:

Roll with the Punches: Know your environment and be aware and well studied in co-workers characteristic.  Don’t find yourself shocked or caught off guard by people and presumptions.

Pick Your Battles: In the vain of rolling with the punches, knowing when to punch back if needed is key.  Have a mental inventory on less to greatest importance.  If you push back on all things, you will loose power and influence and become an annoyance.  Choose wisely and make it count.

Self Edit: Think through each situation thoroughly and take emotion completely out of the picture before you send that email or make that call.  Have a clear agenda focused on task completion rather than an agenda focused on airing frustrations.

Consider the Source: When in conflict, consider the person you are in conflict with and ask these questions: Do I care what they think?  Are they worth my time and energy?

Big Picture Reminders: You are in the workplace to excel and be promoted.  All energy should go towards this.  Stay away from the drama.

Know when t0 Quit: If you find that you are not being treated right and your particular workplace or boss is causing personal turmoil, know when to walk away.  There is a better workplace for you.


I Can Only Change Me

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In the opening scene to The Office episode “the Return”, Andy Rurnard walks in after a sabbatical for anger management.  When he sees Jim (his co-worker) he asks Jim to call him Drew from now on. When Jim coldly tells Andy that he won’t be calling him Drew, Andy takes a deep breathe and reminds himself, as if back in counseling, “I can’t change you, I can only change me!”

When it comes to the work place I’m a firm believer in teaching others how to treat you, but this can only go so far, before master manipulating takes place.  When all is done on your end with healthy boundaries and honest communication in the work place reminding yourself that you can’t change people is a freeing thought.

As a woman in the work place this is a hard thought to grasp and/or just except in general.  Now I’m being very bold here and will use generalities which I normally hate but women have an up hill battle in the area of stereotypes.  There are many negative stereotypes linked with the female gender and when there is even the smallest demonstration of these characteristics the repercussions are quick and harsh.

Women in leadership are watched and judged on a much greater scale.  Is this far, no it’s not…but it’s reality.  So, as women we need to deal with it.  Women can’t always change how men view them, but we can stay professional and learn to detach.

Tomorrow’s post includes some practical ways to trouble shoot these situations and move forward.

The Water Cooler Challenge

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When the water cooler gathering occur much of the talk has personal agendas, unproductive results, and leaves wide open doors for misunderstandings and hurt feelings.  Welcome back to Junior High, except this time having a big mouth could cost you a lot more, possibly your job.

Reason why you can’t shut up and what to do about it:

- You’re Offended: Talk only to the person that hurt you and move on, seriously no one else needs to be informed.

- You lack Confidence and struggle with Your Identity: You’ll never be a leader if this is the case.  Approach close friends/family, ask their thoughts, and be prepared for some hard answers. Personal reflection to follow.

- You have Control Issues:  This will come off desperate and have the opposite effect you wanted. Learn to not care about what others think of you as much.

- You lack Listening Skills: When people talk to much it can be because they don’t think the other person is hearing them, listen to their response to you.

- You’re Bored: You’re at work not a talk show; do your work.  It is disrespectful and inappropriate to waste company time on personal things.

- You’re Inarticulate: Thinking before you speak is key to sharing a thought, opinion, and/or feeling.  Take time and say it right the first time.

Water Cooler Women

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If there could be a sign over every water cooler or for that matter every “lunch meeting” that says “Shut Up No One Cares”  I think we would get a lot more done.  Sounds rude even hurtful but if you give me a chance I think I’m making a more than valuable point.

Talking, what a gift women have!  According to many studies women on average speak three times more words a day than men and we all know those words, more often than not, are full of punch!  As a woman, I understand and often find myself joining the water cooler crowd for the latest.  It’s like this crazy magnetic force that screams at me that my opinion, my feelings, my thoughts are so important and valuable that everyone needs to hear them and not just once, but multiply times.  This God given gift of communication to the females is at its core a beautiful thing, but when used in excess turns ugly fast.

In the spirit of leadership in the work place choosing words carefully is one of the best things you can do.  Imagine a woman in the work place that speaks when necessary and gets to the point, and whenever she deviates it’s purposeful, clear, and possibly even witty!  This woman would stand out not just from the women but the men as well and become the leading lady in the office.  People respect and think highly of others that have a guard on their tongue.    We tend to subconsciously label people that speak well and with thoughtfulness as wise and deep, all wonderful leadership traits.  People will follow, respect, and even have a healthy fear of a leader that demonstrates these attributes on consistent biases.